For those of you who don't know my other journal!!:

Ok well the night before last I had the freakiest dream. I am still bothered by it.. here.. read.. this is me telling sum one who was in it about it! *Note:You= EJ*

sILyCLuLesPiPPin: A bunch of ppl were asked to be on a reality show which was a cross between fear factor and temptation island
sILyCLuLesPiPPin: and everyone was older.. the couples were:
sILyCLuLesPiPPin: Me and Jef
Sarah and Boris
My friend Jo and some guy
You and Emma
Welly and Brianne
and for some reason Beth and Alan
sILyCLuLesPiPPin: we were going on this Pirate ship that was run by Johnny Depp and he was dressed as Capt. Jack Sparrow
sILyCLuLesPiPPin: and we had to participate in all these pirate "games"
sILyCLuLesPiPPin: and the only one I remember was the last one
sILyCLuLesPiPPin: There were a bunch of poles of the front of the ship and the girls had to be near the top and their guy partners had to be at the bottom and they had to cling for their lives and if the girl fell the guy had to catch her
sILyCLuLesPiPPin: the only thing was if they weren't caught then they went down this hole at the bottom into this dungeon thing underneath with their partner
sILyCLuLesPiPPin: well.. you, emma, brianne, welly, jo and her guy all fell down there
sILyCLuLesPiPPin: and then all of a sudden the front of the boat started tearing itself apart
sILyCLuLesPiPPin: and obviously it wasn't suppose to do that because the camera crew was flipping out and telling us to get off the "God Damned Poles"
sILyCLuLesPiPPin: so me, jef, beth, alan, boris and sarah all swam to this island or house that was floating in the middle of the ocean
sILyCLuLesPiPPin: then I realized you guys were still all trapped out there on the ship
sILyCLuLesPiPPin: so I jumped back in to save ya guys
sILyCLuLesPiPPin: and I got welly and brianne out before I got stuck
sILyCLuLesPiPPin: and then Jef jumped in to save me and everyone else
sILyCLuLesPiPPin: but Jo and her guy drowned
sILyCLuLesPiPPin: and the guys had to go back after the shipwreck and find their bodies to tell their parents
sILyCLuLesPiPPin: and everyone was so shaken up
sILyCLuLesPiPPin: it was the worst dream I ever had

Talk about freaky.. I am still really shaken!

~Kelli~

ok so my brother had his grad party yesterday almost 2 weeks after my b-day and what happens.. all my aunts and uncles and grandparents give me my b-day presents and 99% of it was money cuz they were too lazy to try and go and get me a gift! no sorry it's so late or anything of that nature. More or less it was an ok here ya go kind of event. I eventually walked away. I could give a shit less about any of them. I have cried enough about people not caring about me! I do not need this SHIT!! I am sick of being ignored and sick of being hurt and everything that goes along with that!! :cry: I AM SICK OF THIS!!!! Some one save me from this shit!!

~Kelli~ (note: a very angry and upset one)

The deffinition of trust is:

Total confidence in the integrity, ability, and good character of another.

Some one in my health class let it rip today that I supposedly hate my brother's fiance after our teacher made a statement and said nothing said in the classroom was suppose to leave the room. I do NOT hate her. I just don't know her yet and I am scared half to death of getting to know her. That means she is basically my sister and I am not ready for that! I am only 16 years old and, not to complain, but in the past month I have come to the realization that I have lost my best friend, my sister will be leaving soon for a different college, my brother will be with a girl and in college, and I have little to no friends.. (By the way my friend Jen just informed me that she now has a bunch of new friends ) No one seems to understand what I am going through.. I know some people do. But today I nearly broke down crying because I am not ready for all of this!

My job yesterday was enough to make everything go into a downward spiral. I was suppose to do stock but since I am such an "efficient employee" I was told to run service desk so this girl who supposedly had a problem with her foot would be allowed to do stock! (note: stock contains more work on your feet) So I was forced to be up there by myself. Then none of the stock boys listened to me because of this guy named Mike, aka Bubba, has made all the stock boys not help me when I call! ugh! The minimal effect that had on me was complete and total FRUSTRATION!!

Then all of a sudden I get home and I find out that Mike completely never wants to have anything to do with me at all. Sucks because I really do care about him just not in the way he wants me to. He is 23 years old and I am 17. I like him, but it would never work. I just want to be friends.

And to top it all off, I haven't spoken to Jef in 3-5 days. I am miserable! I miss him because he always knew how to make me happy.. and lately.. I can't find a way! It's Driving me mad! I just want to run and get away! My cousins are here from Alaska and they are driving me nuts! My Mother keeps having me do stuff with them but all I want is to be ALONE!!! Is that so much to ask!?

Well I guess I am done venting.. I feel a lil bit better but not entirely. I still feel the need to burst out crying for no apparent reason!

Nothings going right
Everything's a mess
No one likes to be alone
So ends another chapter
No way to end this pain
I won't be annoyed
Don't turn your Back on me
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Hello
I am your mind
Giving you some one to talk to... Hello..
You are the pain
You never knew what it meant
to loose someone
Until it's
Too Late...

I'm Gone....

Ok now two nights ago I had the worst scare I have ever had in a life time! I woke up at 1:30 and ran to the bathroom and threw everything I ate up. I told my mom and she helped me back to bed and cleaned me up. Well.. I woke up an hour later feeling sick and I threw up again!!! well.. I didn't sleep the rest of the night and I got sick a few times and lost a total of 5lbs in a night!! Then I got up the next morning and I had really sharp pains in my right side down near my hip. I was really sick and so my mom looked up my symptoms and I had 3/5 symptoms of appendicitis!! My side still hurts but I haven't gotten sick since yesterday!! thank God!! but the problem is that means something could happen soon!! I am soo scared!! I hate surgery and Jef is away so he may never find out until he comes home and one of my friends says I am in the hospital! ugh!! I miss Jef sooo much!! ugh!!! I hope nothing happens.. and if something does.. I hope I can be the one to tell Jef!! ugh!! Talk about a scare of a life time!!

~Kelli~

Hey well i am no longer single I am dating Jef (yes the one in the Random Pics) He is such a great guy and he asked me like this:

StarWarriorJef: Kelli could i then have the absolute honor of you being my girl friend?

of course I said yes instantly wow what a great night

Some one asked me if I like Lotr and my gallery should say it all and my nickname being pippin :-p